Are you only into immediate
rewards or can you wait and reap twice what you could get now. A
Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Daniel
Kahneman (Thinking Fast and Slow) has a
similar model of “fast” and “slow” thinking that
has many parallels to what is described by Walter Mischel.
Mischel describes two
systems in the brain: "hot" (limbic) and "cold" (prefrontal cortex). The Hot system deals with immediate threats and rewards. The Cold system deals with delayed consequences. The key to self-control is cooling the hot system where appropriate. When
the Limbic System Kicks in it may shut down the prefrontal cortex and prevent
cooling if you cannot recognize a hot button before it takes over. We need to learn to recognize Hot-Buttons and
activate our Prefrontal Cortex to work on delayed rewards that are larger than
immediate rewards.
As a child would you wait
for twenty minutes to have two marshmallows or have one right now. Can you delay rewards? Could you as a child? And what does that have to do with the rest
of your life? In this book Walter
Mischel explains that your ability as a child to delay gratification is a Key
Indicator to life time performance. The
Marshmallow test (Delayed Gratification) has the ability to predict higher SAT
scores better social and cognitive functions, a healthier lifestyle and a
greater sense of self-worth.
Nature or Nurture? Do our Genes define our level of self-control
or is there an epi-genetic control that can turn
self-control on or off? Can willpower (our
cognitive ability) substantially increase this crucial ability via our brains
plasticity to gain more self-control?
Genetics clearly plays a role in the level of self-control you have, but
Genetics are not your destiny. If you
really want to, you can increase your self-control if you approach it with a
growth mindset and that willpower is not a limited resource over which you have
no control.
Not only do you at times not
need willpower, you can often remove the source of temptation by not buying it
and surrounding yourself with people who can help you. You may also want to have an effective
pre-commitment strategy and cues.
* MAKE UP
"IF...THEN" RULES. We tend to react to cues out of habit. Create new
habits with new cues. IF I go to a restaurant, THEN I will start my meal with a
salad. IF I get an email notification, THEN I will finish the next item on my
to-do list before reading the email. When well-rehearsed and practiced, the
desired behavior is triggered automatically without effort.
* COOL THE NOW, HEAT THE LATER. Vividly imagine
the negative consequences of immediate gratification: Whenever you are tempted
to smoke, visualize the picture of a cancerous lung. If you are tempted
overeat, visualize the picture of a person who is unfit and out of shape.
* DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION. Refer to
yourself in the third person. Instead of saying "I've to finish the report
by tomorrow", I can say "Chuck has to finish the report by
tomorrow." This way you distance yourself and change your role to that of
an observer. This makes the completion of the task easier.
* SHIFT YOUR FOCUS FROM HOT TO COOL PROPERTIES.
Shift your attention from the hot to the not-so-hot attributes of the stimulus:
Instead of looking at the chocolate as a tasty flavorful treat look at it as a
brown square, wrapped in paper. By focusing your attention on the on the cool
attributes of a stimulus, we can decrease its appeal.
In the science of self-control it
is said “good things really do come to those who wait”. But like most things, taking control of any area
of your life starts with asking the question: Would you like to?
Sitzfleisch, the
ability to sit in a seat and reach a goal, despite obstacles.
How many things are in the world that are temptations, that if we just followed a few simple rules, we could live a life of reaching goals.
